Last longer during sex
I know this is quite shameful to confess but I have to. The thing is while having sex I am able to last for only 2 minutes before I ejaculate. It till now had not been such a problem, as most of the times, I choose to be in the bottom, and once I cum, I really don’t let the other understand..
Firstly there is nothing to be ashamed of, as this is quite a common thing. We have been asked similar questions and that’s why we decided to have a conversation with the renowned Dr. Paul Gittens and Ian Kenner. They shared with us some valuable details, which we are further sharing with you.
PE or Premature Ejaculation is nothing to be tensed of and can be easily treated.
Before we get into the treatment let us know a bit more about it.
As the doctors mentioned there is no particular time slot for PE, though, it is mainly considered to last within the first 12 mins or so from the penetration both in the mouth, vagina or the anus. Though it surely does not mean there has to be a marked time limit for one to reach their orgasm. Usually, for men, it is considered 5-7minutes, but then it is just a noted thing. As there are variations in the time limit, a few reach their orgasm within 2-2,5 minutes, others last till 5-7, and even there are men who can last up to 10-15 minutes or more. So it’s just a matter categorizing the orgasmic time.
Since you know your timing, let us discuss what are the probable causes or reasons behind ejaculating so quickly. The thing with coming quickly can be both permanent, i.e. it has been there all these time, or it can be a temporary problem, i.e. a phase you are currently going through that is leading to your premature ejaculation. Thus it is important to know the probable reasons behind your PE so that you can last longer in the bed.
Here are few causes that are responsible for premature ejaculation.
Psychological Problem – An important cause can be your psychology. When you are going to have an intercourse with a new mate, sometimes it happens that you get nervous, which can lead to PE.
Behavioral Problem – This is when you have constantly functioned your body to come quickly while masturbating. Sometimes without our knowledge, we make our body get used to coming quickly while masturbating, which can, later on, result in coming quickly during sex as well.
Biological Problem – This can be another reason for premature ejaculation. Most of the time we don’t know and we don’t notice whether our hormones are okay, or if the serotonin levels are changing. These 2 factors do affect the ejaculation. Besides these, it can also be due to oversensitivity or any swelling caused which you haven’t noticed.
Erection Problem – There are times when men face erection problem. If you are going through an erection problem, like you are not getting erected or you are not able to uphold it, then it can prove to be another cause for coming quickly.
Whatever reason it may be, whether you know or don’t it is always advisable to go and consult a doctor.
So, let us now talk about the trick to last longer in bed.
It is a simple method, which allows you to come little bit and yet not come totally thus preserving and allowing you to continue your adventurous journey. You start just like any other random day, and when you can feel that you are about to come, you need to apply the squeeze-pause method. When you feel like you are about to orgasm, slowly pull out your penis from the anus or the mouth, and pull and squeeze between the head and the shaft of the penis. Once you do this, a pause will occur and your orgasm will be paused and will be temporarily stopped.
Doing it right is very important because once you do it right, you will stop the full orgasm. It is not like it won’t happen at all, but it is more like, a few orgasmic contradictions will happen, and you will even release a bit of cum, but that’s all. An easy metaphor for this is the gun metaphor. Like loading a gun, and instead of pushing the trigger, you nudge it a bit. Dr. Kenner further mentions that what happens is during this time is, the contractions that you feel, signal your brain that an orgasm has been done and the blood accumulated in the penis is lost, and the throbbing disappears. This will certainly lead to losing a bit of erectile, but it doesn’t matter much, as the cycle will go back to the previous steps, where you can again start from getting aroused.
This method is easy, but it does need practice, and so it is advisable to practice it beforehand during masturbation. It is important to practice it before performing it during the intercourse because the pulling and the squeezing work only when you know the proper way to do it. Random pulling and squeezing can actually lead to pain and malfunction of the erectile during the sex. Therefore always master the technique during masturbation and once you have nailed it, you can use the technique during the intercourse. You can also enlighten your mate about this technique for lasting longer and getting several orgasms at a time.
If you want to last longer in bed, do try out Dr. Kener’s tricks as they are not only easy but at the same time very effective as well. Kegels Muscle Training and Edging
The thing that Dr. Kener advice to all his patients is to first try out the technique at home while masturbating. The reason behind doing so is, all these techniques though might sound easy, can go wrong if not practiced. After all, you don’t want to embarrass yourself in front of your partner. Thus, it is advised to practice this technique as much as possible while masturbating. And once you have mastered it, not only you can use them during sex, but you can also teach them to your partner to last longer and to have several orgasms and enjoy your intercourse experience even more.
Using Desensitize Spray
To stop yourself from premature ejaculation, you can use sprays that are specially made to desensitize the penis. There are various desensitize products available in the market, and one such is Promescent. Promescent is a desensitizing spray made of lidocaine. This spray numbs the penis, but then you don’t want a totally numb penis while having sex do you? So, Dr. Kener advises to spray 23 times and continue from there on. Paul Gittens, on the other hand, says it is just a temporary fix and not a permanent one since a little numbness is okay, but not total. After all the penis is one of the most sensitive parts of the male body. In a penis you not only get sensations both from the shaft and the head, you also get sensations when it comes in touch with other things. You feel different sensations in your whole body, when you touch it to your mate’s body, or when your mate touches it, and you surely do not want to miss out on these sensations. So, even if you use desensitizing sprays, keep in mind to follow the instructions so that you don’t end up totally numbing your penis.
Making use of Refractory Period
Before going into the technique, let us discuss what is refractory period? For those who don’t know, the refractory period is the time gap between an orgasm and starting the whole process of putting your penis into the anus, vagina or the mouth again. Usually refractory period varies from person to person. For some it is really quick, for others, it takes time to start again. So, how to use this period in your favor as a trick to last longer in bed? The first and foremost thing that you need to do is you need to keep a track rather you need to know clearly what is your refractory period, i.e. the time it takes for you to go for the second round. Once you know the time, try and masturbate during that period, so that you already come before going into the second phase, as then you can easily go to the second round and last longer. In case your refractory period gets over quickly, you can start getting physical with your partner and buy some time and use it to prepare yourself for the second round.
And if these things don’t work for you at all, you can simply spend a lot more time doing other physical stuff, as sex is not only about the intercourse, it has more sides to it.
According to Kerner, if you are someone who comes quickly and falls in the 13 minutes ejaculation lot, then it is nothing to be ashamed of. Just work out your skills and make the foreplay better. Make it work in such a way so that even your partner gets all turned on, aroused and comes within the 12 minutes that are allotted to you. Instead of using the penis directly, use either your mouth, or hands or even sex toys. Sex is a lot more than just penetration, it is more about pleasure, and it truly doesn’t matter how you give and get that. You just need to trust yourself, because once you do that, you can easily step on your game.
Foreplay is important but that doesn’t mean you will divert your mind to something totally off the grid. Don’t zone out, as your partner would not want you to be present there physically and absent mentally. It is good to think about other things, but completely zoning out is unadvisable because then you lose the moment as well as the mood. No one prefers to be mindlessly banged, you should always concentrate and focus on your partner while doing so because it is okay to have mindblowing sex for a few minutes, than to have passionless sex for a longer period of time. Not only this, even trying to divert yourself can make you feel anxious, and this anxiety is not good for ejaculation. As anxiety is directly proportional to coming quickly, and it is something you need to avoid.
To conclude, don’t take the stress, if you can’t last long in the bed. Try the tricks to last longer in bed, as mentioned above and if it still doesn’t work for you, it is okay. Talk to your partner, make them understand, and if necessary do visit a doctor, as you never know what might be the actual reason for your premature ejaculation. Listen to the doctor carefully and follow the instructions that he gives.
At the end just know this much, premature ejaculation is no one’s fault. It is neither your fault nor your partner’s. It is just like any other sexual problem that I, you and the third person can experience anytime anywhere, so there is nothing to be utterly concerned about. It is just a problem, nothing more and it can surely be treated and made to work when discussed with a doctor. Therefore, if you are experiencing premature ejaculation and can’t last in the bed longer, do not be ashamed to talk about it. Discuss and feel free to take the advice to get over it.